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Those areas are often the most important things to discuss.

The fact that something is ‘not important’ may be a signal that one or both of you are making an assumption about the way some aspect of life will turn out based on your own past experience.

What priority does the extended family play in the couple’s life, how are family decisions made, how much free time (time apart from each other) is considered normal for the partners, etc.

Also, don’t assume that when your partner says something is unimportant that it does not have to be discussed.

This leads to the obvious: Some degree of cross-pollenization is bound to occur between two people who share an intimate relationship but when you start to expect change, then you start to get into big trouble.

That should not be too surprising, since I have lived all my life as a male and I have little experience looking at the situation from the other side.I’m not saying there will not be obstacles to overcome in any case.Just that my particular experience is with someone who was raised all her life in a different culture from myself and it is to those in a similar situation that I address this discourse.That said, it should be quite obvious that you will want to find out as much as you possibly can about your potential partner and his or her lifestyle.You would be surprised how much is taken for granted in typical marriages, even among partners of the same background.

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