It's particularly telling that immediately after winning a playoff game in the most ridiculous way possible, and moving a little too quickly to trademark "Minneapolis Miracle" so the owners could rake it in from the gullible wallets of a people used to losing, your team went and crapped the bed against Nick Foles and the Eagles, costing you the first home Super Bowl in history. Arthur Blank's mustache.) you’re still savvy enough fans to recognize there’s not a whole lot (thanks for nothing, Eugene Robinson) in your 50-year history to get up in people’s faces about. Now he just charges for parking, which is usually paid by fans of the visiting team, because there ARE NO LA CHARGERS FANS. There are basically three kinds of Colts fans: die-hards who thought building the Hoosier Dome before you had an actual team was a stroke of GENIUS; Peyton Manning fans who dropped 0 on an authentic jersey in 2005 and don’t much feel like switching; and people who know about football and are just attracted by the smell of frying pork.But you're still nice Midwesterners, which means you have even fewer issues giving up and jumping on the Packers bandwagon. Your revisionist history of Adam Vinatieri’s career aside, you’re actually a pretty innocuous group, mostly because anyone can shut you up just by yelling “OMAHA! ) And although none of you actually LIKE being associated with the (AFC) South, it makes getting to the playoffs infinitely easier.Three NFC title games and a Super Bowl in just 20 years? You poor bastards almost won a championship your first season after moving from Houston.But let's face it, those memories are as fleeting as Mike Munchak's and Mike Mularkey's tenures as head coach -- it might be time to try someone with a name that doesn't scream "evil high school P. teacher." Now, your lone claim to fame is “selling out” your stadium by dumping thousands of tickets on Stub Hub.
Until Calvin Johnson came along, the only player's jersey you saw Lions fans wear at home games was...
”) and was helmed by the likes of Aaron Brooks and Billy Joe Tolliver, while the other only knows the Super Bowl success of the Sean Payton era.
You're both “all in” when it comes fandom -- which is great for jersey and ticket sales -- but it’s clear which group can handle a 1-4 start and which one keeps annoying everybody at the bar by yelling “Who Dat? Throw in the massive “Bounty Gate” chip on your collective shoulder and a 16 ranking feels about right.
And while you'd think a group of people who are Gator fans on Saturday would be completely intolerable, Jags supporters get all of their annoyingness out during college games; by Sunday, they're content to just come out and enjoy the nice weather, regardless of which former Florida college star is throwing INTs that week. Considering how insufferable you should be having tasted success without paying any dues, you're surprisingly not that bad.
Even when the team is good, some things never change. Probably because the number of teal seats you see on television is directly proportional to the number of wins the Panthers have that season, and what kind of mood Cam Newton is in.